DISTANCE--Aoshi's POV

By Dyosa ~_~

Standard disclaimers apply. If you sue me, I'll sue you!!! Hehe, you know I'm 
joking, right?

 

Without looking, I sense you standing behind the screen doors. I do not need to 
look up and reassure myself 
for I am very receptive with your presence. Especially your
presence.

And so I calculate the distance between you and me.

Several miles away, at least.

But you are just there, behind the screen doors, and I, sitting here in this 
room, without company. But I 
intend to let you be so many miles away. Very far away from me.

I do not need you to get too close, for if I do... but no, I cannot let you.

My hands are sinfully stained. I have done selfish and unjust acts that are 
unforgivable, dimming my 
already dark soul. And my heart--I do not even know if I am still worthy
to have a heart.

I was one of those remnants of a dark past that must remain dead in this new 
era.

But you were always there, and I, the undeserving one, would always send you 
away. I do not want to, but I 
have to.

You are young, blameless with an untainted soul and a chaste heart. I want to 
protect what you have--
something that I have lost so long ago. That is why I protect you from me.

But it pains me so to push you away.

You are not looking at me anymore. I seize the chance to take a glance at you, 
my curiosity winning over 
my will. You are solemnly looking at a tray on the low table as you
absently play with a gold fabric in your callused, but exquisite, hands.

A light breeze passed by, and a wisp of black hair caresses your cheek.

I hold my breath. Capturing the image to be forever imprinted in my mind.

Your angelic face, your silken black tresses, those prussian blue eyes staring 
thoughtfully in space.

But your eyes where emotions are ever present. The same emotions that I struggle 
to be kept away. But you 
are never afraid to show them. It is your strength, and I could never
understand such things. I consider it as a weakness, and to become a strong 
leader, I have become such as 
my state.

Unfeeling.

As I contemplate on the subject further, I found out you are everything opposite 
of me. Not as an 
Oniwabanshuu member, but as you.

Misao.

You reach down for the tray and starts walking down towards my direction.

I suddenly become very aware of you. The time lengthens, your journey seemingly 
forever as you balance 
the tray on your hands. I observe under hooded eyes. Surprisingly,
you are wearing your long hair in a simple ponytail, not in your usual long 
braid. But still charming--no, 
beautiful, nevertheless. I watch your hair swing gracefully from side
to side, to the sway of your hips, the long strides of your limbs, and until to 
the light steps of your feet.

Remarkably, you are not wearing your ninja attire, but a simple light blue 
short-sleeved yukata with a little 
knot securely tying the garment together, and a pair of hem-folded
shorts.

The garb seem... unfeminine, childish. But instead of seeing a child, I see you. 
A woman. I know that now.

I suddenly feel different. It is so alien to me, and I cannot seem to tear my 
gaze off you. I shouldn't be 
surprised. Every new emotion I feel is always evoked by you. Only you.

"Ohayo, Aoshi-sama!" you greet me cheerfully. Your smile radiates as I found you 
kneeling before me 
already.

Speechless. It seems that I cannot find my voice. Before the second stretch 
awkwardly, I nod. Content with 
my comply, you begin with the tea.

I still watch you, gracefully executing the ritual, mesmerizing me.

How I wish to hold your hands in mine, and what's more, while I stare drowningly 
in those beautiful blue 
depths.

::WHOA!!! Where the h*ll did that come from??? Oops! Sorry for interrupting 
~_~;;::

So bizarre, thinking such thoughts. But giving in to these new emotions within 
me has somehow let go a 
burden in my heart. But how it tempts me to express these feelings into
words.

Should I, or should I not?

Omasu suddenly call from the kitchen. You scuttle up as you excuse yourself then 
turn around.

I don't want you to go, yet. Maybe I should tell you now?

I found your ribbon on the tray and instinctively reach out to your right arm, 
"Wait Misao," I head my 
voice, composed as ever.

Unbelievable.

I cannot bring myself to touch you. Not yet. Especially when you turn around 
with a startled look in your 
face as you catch a glimpse of my extended arm.

I start to pull back, but my hand suddenly has a will on its own as it traces 
your delicate skin slowly, then 
finding itself on my lap again.

Just a trace, hardly a touch. Then you slightly blush.

The need becomes greater.

And so I reach for the ribbon.

"You left this," and hands the material to you. I purposefully touch your palm 
with the tips of my fingers as 
you offer your hand.

A mere touch, nothing more. But how it burns my whole being!

Again, should I tell you now?

"And," I pause.

I search your eyes. I am lost.

"Thank you for the tea." Coward.

I can't help but give a small smile at you. A silent apology for my lack of 
words.

But I never thought you will reward it with your own, only much more sweetly. 
Then you turn and left.

In a daze, I watch you skip on the corridors back again behind those screen 
doors. You pause for a moment, 
an overwhelming smile on your face, then disappear.

I reach out for the steaming cup to take a sip. I contemplate with our distance 
again.

A second away. Or even less.

owari

notes: mushy, isn't it? ~_~~_~~_~

hope you liked it, thanks for reading ^^

 

my first poem from misao's pov. a bit waffy, athink.

welp, here's it, hope you'll like it.

Desperately

Misao's POV

How could you...

Leave me suspended.

Without a word of reason,

Eyes aching with tears unshed.

This once puerile heart befuddled with your absence,

Never knowing where you have gone,

Never knowing when you will come.

As anger seeped into my veins,

And of pain, and of anguish.

Asking questions that can never be satisfied.

Not knowing when I can be contented.

I missed you...

As my ire ebbed away,

Replaced with this hallow ache deep inside.

Yearning to be with you.

Enclosed in your strong grasp,

Reassured with simple murmurs,

Hushing my childish pleas.

Wishing for your crystal eyes,

Searching them,

Finding answers once I seek.

But now, finding them no more.

I will find you...

A new resolve that grew within me,

With the cruelness of time that has passed,

My hungry soul craving,

Blindly needing for your presence.

In a directionless state of mind,

Seeking places of the unfamiliar.

Hoping for a hint of your nearness,

A trace of your voice,

A whiff of your scent.

Searching for any vestige of your existence.

I have found you...

Glad but broken-hearted,

Commiserating with your state of mind and soul.

Wanting to heal you,

Help you at any way possible.

Wanting to steal away your pain,

Or at least, share the burden of its atrocity.

Needing to break through your frozen heart,

To keep it warm and safe with my own.

But through all my sincere undertakings,

You still kept away.

How could you...

But I missed you...

And so I'll find you...

And now I've found you...

All I want to say is...

I love you.

 

noteS:

i know the "i have found you" part was a bit off-tracked based on the

series, since Aoshi went back to Edo and all to find the battousai, and not

because of Misao's search. But i made it that way taking into

consideration the part where she saw Aoshi AFTER the fight with

Shishi-o coz that's when Misao really saw the true Aoshi, right?

i just remembered the part where Aoshi and Kenshin fought. And the

latter saying that he wanted to fight the true Aoshi, not the cold ruthless 
killer that he was and only wanted 
revenge... or something

like that. welp, that's what i understand, i guess.

thanks for your time, minna! ja!

dyosa :)