The Sword of Life
a fanfic by flori-dono
DISCLAIMER: This is a Rurouni Kenshin inspired fanfiction. RK characters are 
owned by Nobuhiro Watsuki and associates.

Nope, I don't think Kaoru really went through this and I sort of diverted from 
the real facts about her father's death. 

***
I wouldn't cry. 

I could still remember that night when Hana-obasan woke me up one night to break 
to me the news. She tried to comfort me like a child, with a hug, kisses and 
whispered words. I couldn't even cry then. I didn't know if it was the shock or 
it was because I was still too sleepy to understand what she was saying. I 
disengaged myself from her embrace. She was the one who was crying. I gathered 
my yukata about me and stared into space. I could see nothing and I could hear 
nothing.

The next day, I was kneeling in front of the casket. I was motionless and 
unemotional. His remains were covered. They didn't want me to look at him. They 
told me some of his limbs were missing and that I wouldn't recognize his face. 
But I didn't mind. 

I could hear people talking about me in hushed tones behind my back. They said 
that I was an ungrateful daughter. And they wondered how such an honorable man 
could have a child as unloving as I was.

Doctor Genzai stepped forward and offered me his condolonces. I accepted it with 
a mere nod. The doctor who was my father's most trusted friend didn't hide his 
worry over me. 

"Child, don't bottle your feelings inside," he said. "Let it all out, talk to 
me!"

I just stared at his kindly old face. What he wanted was too much to ask. I 
couldn't. Instead...

"What would happen to the dojo?" I asked.

I could see he was stunned. Perhaps he was thinking that how in such a time like 
that, I could still think of the dojo.

"I don't know my child," he said with a sad sigh. "I don't know."

Today, they buried him but I didn't even set foot on the place which would be 
his final home. Instead, I donned my practice gi that morning and got his 
bokutou from its usual place. 

I assumed a fighting stance. I swung the bokutou and felt a little wind blew 
some stray hair from my forehead as I sliced through the air forcefully. After a 
while, I straightened up.

I stood like that for a long time. Slowly, everything came back to me like a 
tsunami. 

I screamed. I threw his bokutou away from me. I heard it as it hit the dojo wall 
before making contact with the floor.

"You told me that that was the sword which protects people. But how come it 
didn't protect you?"

I said I wouldn't cry but there I was, down on my knees with tears on my face.

"You were wrong...you were wrong..." I kept on murmuring. I wanted him to know. 

"Kaoru..."

I felt something cold touch my skin, as though it was a hand cupping my cheek. I 
closed my eyes.

"Kaoru..."

The voice was inside my head. It seemed like his voice but it might had only 
been my imagination.

Then suddenly, memories of him came flashing in front of me. One by one they 
emerged from the chest where I had burried them in the deepest part of my mind. 
I saw him helping me handle the wooden sword, him reprimanding me for chewing my 
bokutou when I was four, and lots more. All of them made me smile as I 
remembered them. They flew like the loose pages of a book caught in a breeze. 
But there was one which stubbornly stayed.

"Kaoru, why did you get into a fight again?" he asked me.

I gulped. He didn't look angry but I knew that tone of voice. He had often used 
it on me.

"Gomen nasai, otousan. But Touji was making fun of you! He said that you don't 
know how to use a real sword!" 

He sighed and scooped me up and sat me on his lap. He looked at my scratched 
face and my soiled kimono. He chuckled softly and rumpled my tousled hair.

"Of course I do," he said. "But I opted to use the wooden one because it can't 
kill people."

"I know 'tousan! It is the sword that protects people!" 

He smiled as he heard the pride in my voice.

"A real sword is used to hurt people," he said. "And even to kill. I never 
believed in hurting or killing others that is why I tried so hard to develop the 
kasshin ryu. But..."

"But?"

"But sometimes in life, you are faced with doing things that are against in what 
you believe in.  If push comes to shove, I would have to use a real sword and 
hurt people or even kill them."

I shook my head. 

"No, not even!"

This time his smile had an underlying sadness in it.

"Promise me Kaoru," he said. " Stick to your principles. If you believe in not 
killing, then believe in it your whole heart. Try hard not to be swayed by the 
tides of fate."

I looked at him skeptically. I had no idea what he was talking about.

But now I knew, and i found it too ironic.

"Otuosan!" I said softly. The coldness I felt left my face. I felt it slide down 
my cheek. 

I stood up and walked towards the end of the room. I picked up the bokutou and 
carried it back and put it in its place. I stared at it with blurry eyes. I made 
an effort to smile.

"Now I understand," I said. "Gomen nasai Otousan."

And I turned around and walked away. Before closing the door of the dojo, I 
couldn't help but look. I saw there the image of my father beside the stand of 
the wooden sword. The sword that he loved so much, the sword which protects 
life. 

*OWARI*